“You are never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream.” C.S. Lewis
It seems when we set goals and reach them especially if they are BIG goals – like moving/relocating, changing jobs, etc. once we reach that goal we flounder a bit. Sometimes you put so much into achieving a particular step or goal along the path that once there we lose sight of other goals or aspects of our lives. I have found this to be true in my case with my recent move and life changes. Goals are not wrong and achievements should be applauded; however, it shouldn’t be the end all. Its very similar to a recent article I read by Martha Beck. In this article she goes into detail about a couple of her coaching clients. One client wanted to have a child, another wanted a career change. Both clients thought these things would make them happier and more fulfilled or content with life in general. I too have often told myself “if only I had….or did…I would feel ” fill in the blank – basically the elusive ”it” would make me be more fulfilled and happier. When you realize that feelings are fleeting, and that happiness is a choice it changes the game. The realization that these two women came to is something that I came to a long while back – if you aren’t sure what makes you happy, lights you up, or what you are passionate about now, setting your sights on other life events or things to achieve happiness or contentment won’t help. In both cases above the women ended up not regretting their decisions, but dealing with the “reality” of them. The lady who wanted a child had a colicky baby and spent many sleepless nights wondering why she wanted to have a child in the first place. The other woman who changed careers, started her own business only to find out that being an entrepreneur is demanding and left little time for anything else – so it stressed her out even more than her old 9 to 5 job did.
There is an old saying that I repeat often, “be careful what you ask for”. What it comes down to is a choice to be happy with where you are, who you are, and what your goals are within your ability to manifest them. Going with the flow of life means having dreams and goals, achieving them but that isn’t the end all – the really juicy bits are the journey it takes to get there, go through some turmoil, and grow as a person. You can be sure you will make mistakes and be diverted a time or two but realize that mistakes or tough times are also for our benefit no matter how bad it may seem at the time. Trust me I know how bad that can feel. But you will pass through it – we can only go forward.
So my new goals, are similar to the past ones, to live a healthy, fulfilling, abundant life, being able to help others and choosing to be happy along the way.
I have also found that a large part of happiness is about judgement or lack thereof. Be kind and compassionate with yourself first, and this will outflow to others also. If I am constantly judging good/bad in myself and others, being critical makes me unhappy with myself and with others. Practicing non-judgement isn’t an easy task, we learn to start judging everything from an early age. However, the benefits of practicing non-judgement are wonderful. It enables you to truly be happy with where/what you and others are in this moment.
I have given myself this past month or so after my move to adjust and settle in trying to show myself some kindness and non-judgement. My goals now are to get back into my regular habits which give me joy, peace,calmness, and comfort which include Yoga, Tai Chi, dancing, writing, and much more. Everything in my life (new job, new home, new state) are my happiness NOW – not tomorrow or yesterday just being happy NOW.
May I be happy,
May I feel loved,
May all my suffering be healed,
May I be at peace.
And may all others be blessed with the same.